Thursday, 15 October 2009
So...
In case you haven't realised, I'm a happy person, and impossibly happy one at that...
In life, there are so many things to be loved, I'm always smiling when I'm on my way home, I'm always smiling to myself like a crazy fool, I guess that's what loving Jesus does to you, with my sinful nature and my selfishness went my reasoning...ha!
Yeah, growing up, well, it's been fun, the whole thing, not just the recent big-kid/mini-adult part, from the point where my memory actually has archives of stuff until now, it's been really cool...
Sure, a lot of hard work in my life right now, headgirl duties, daughter duties, schoolgirl duties, all of that stuff makes my life all the more worth living...
I was thinking a lot about that today, how I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's, not at all, it's been too much fun! Hahaha
All of the bad stuff, the times I just prayed would end, the points where I felt like God was playing hide 'n' seek with me, the nights I cried in my room, the times I'd stare in the mirror and wish for that ugly girl to go away...
Yeah, I've known pain alright...
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”
But...I know Love too :)
And really, all that junk in my life, all the bad stuff, that's all lead me to Him and this is why I'm so happy...
The Creator of the Heaven and earth is in my heart this very moment, never to leave me desolate or alone, He will never let me go, He is the strength of my heart, He is what brightens my day quite simply put.
This is why growing up doesn't scare me anymore; sure, there will be bumps in the road but He is here. He is...here.
With you.
With me.
Don't ever forget...
Buh-bye now :)
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
So...
Again, I haven't been blogging very consistently, which I do apologise for (if anyone is actually reading this blog besides my best-friends Rose and Katherine).
Anywho, today is Wednesday, school was pretty good today, I had to do some serious work on my music coursework today and it's soundin' pretty good, I must admit.
But life is pretty awesome right now, though I'm pretty appalled at myself right now, God had to literally get my iPod to stop working just so that we could have some valuable Father/daughter time where He could talk to me, get me to see through His eyes and yes, illuminate my darkness...
"I can be, in a crowd, or by myself, and almost anywhere, when I feel there's a need, to talk with God, He is Emmanuel, when I close my eyes, no darkness there, there's only light"
So, He's been speaking to my heart...
See, this whole growing up, in fact, this whole being alive thing is such a journey, and already, it's been the most eventful journey for me...
from the basic things like being responsible and punctual to letting God be God in my life, allowing myself to be loved thoroughly by Him, it's not always easy because there's this seriously human part of me that's screaming, "Lord, I want to do it on. my. own!"
Of course that part of me is the idiot part :P
There is a part of the me that is constantly warring against God's word, His will, and of course, I will never surrender...
So God has been speaking to me about keeping my eyes on Him, something that is very hard for me to do, I always want to do things, to be busy, I want things done in a hurry, this is a fast-paced world but all of that stuff makes my eyes do weird things and it's only when I focus on God that all those other things fall into perspective...
things like school, love, self-esteem, fun times, work, career stuff etc.
Knowing that God holds my heart and my very life, I'm very excited about growing up, I'm so passionate about life, about growing more and more each day, about stepping up and being who I was created to be, there's so little fear in this heart right now.
Not that the occasional bout of fear will not seize me every now and then but God's truth will always beat it back, always...
Buh-bye now
:) <3
