You Won't Relent

Surrender has always been a bit of a touchy subject for me. Humans, we don't really like vulnerability and technically speaking, it's "safer" to build up walls to stop people from getting too close to you. I think it's a very natural thing to do. Love will always be a thing of vulnerability; letting someone have your heart, loving someone means that they have a power over you, whether you like it or not.
I love God. I'll always be able to say that, always. But that love also requires certain things from me; my heart, my soul, my mind, my life, my time. Is it too much to ask? No, it's actually not but it is definitely a scary thought sometimes.

You won't relent until You
Have it all
My heart is Yours

You won't relent until You
Have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set
You as a seal
Upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love
That is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters
Cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

This is a song that means the world to me, you can hear it here. The first time I heard it, I was pretty floored; God wants me, all of me. I've always heard that quote, "I want more of Him, and less of me" and man, is that the truth or what. It's the only way in which my life can be complete. Nothing is more important than this.
I find myself wanting to give everything straight away but He quiets my heart and reminds me that this is something that must happen every single day, until my God and I are one.
And that's another mindblower, being one with Him, what must that feel like? Having your soul so undeniably tied to His, your heartbeat matching His, I definitely want to find out. It's times like this where I just know that God is my everything.
Yesterday, I found the verse in the Bible that this song is inspired by; Songs of Solomon 8:6 -

6 Place me like a seal over your heart,




like a seal on your arm;


for love is as strong as death,


its jealousy [a] unyielding as the grave. [b]


It burns like blazing fire,


like a mighty flame. [c]
7 Many waters cannot quench love;


rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give


all the wealth of his house for love,


it [d] would be utterly scorned. (NIV)

I'm pretty sure I'll never forget this part of the Bible. But then I looked up The Message translation of this verse and this is where my heart ached for God, for that need to know Him better, His word is amazing -

6-8 Hang my locket around your neck,




wear my ring on your finger.


Love is invincible facing danger and death.


Passion laughs at the terrors of hell.


The fire of love stops at nothing—


it sweeps everything before it.


Flood waters can't drown love,


torrents of rain can't put it out.


Love can't be bought, love can't be sold—


it's not to be found in the marketplace.

"The fire of love stops at nothing" - I'm pretty much amazed at this point. He won't stop, He won't soften his intensity until He has me completely wrapped up in Him. And the other part of this verse, "wear my ring on your finger" - He's openly proclaiming me as His, everyone has to know. I'm His.


My Love is mine and I am His.

So much to say...

It's been a crazy couple of days and I just have so much to say. Life has been good though, I've been so blessed, so happy, maybe my life isn't perfect but it's good enough for me.
It never ceases to amaze me, just how faithful this God that I can love can be. I've come to realise that He's never late, He's never wrong. If you're not a person of faith then you probably can't understand why I so willingly place my heart and life in the hands of an invisible God.
You probably don't understand why I keep talking about Him, it's something that I can never truly, fully explain to another human being. It's something to be experienced and my greatest joy in life is that I know Him, and that He loves me.
Anyways, enough mushy stuff for now. Today I was checking my emails in the morning and I got an email from facebook telling me that someone I suspected to be someone from my past wanted to be friends on facebook. I flipped out and  just had to leave her a video on her wall. It was the most unexpected, amazing thing. I'm still awaiting her response but I'm glad she's alive, and from the looks of things - well.
I'm not even sure if we'll be able to be friends, five years can change a lot of things about a person and in just this past year alone, I've grown up so very much. I'm not sure what we'll talk about now, but I'm glad to have her in my life, even for just a little bit. She was always a special person in my heart and I always wondered if we'd cross paths ever again, and apparently, God had that same thing in mind too.
I guess that the life I live is going by pretty fast. I kinda see myself as a little girl, on a train, with the scenery around her rushing by her, and God is the one thing I can clearly see, the one thing that isn't affected by everything else. He is just who He is, all the time, and His love is so simple yet so powerful.
Because everyone changes, I never expected to change as much as I did but everyday reaffirms the fact that I'm growing up to be a strong and beautiful woman.

"It's the wheel of the world turning around"