Too long, tooooooo long but smiles anyway :DDD

Soooooo...

Wow, okay, so it's definitely been too long now but I've had issues with this laptop of mine as well as school stuff and just life happening, and oh, did I mention, I've also been very lazy, I suck, no need to remind me, this I know, very well.
Anyways, well, life has happened, a lot has happened and I almost don't have the patience to tell you everything but positive things, loads of curves and bumps in the road, my God likesto keep things interesting and this is what He does. Sometimes I just sit down and smile and think about all the cool stories I'm gonna have for my kids, and grandkids, and hopefully, my great-grand-kids, I know I've always said I want to live long but it's especially for them. I never knew my great-grand-ma, I heard very little about the person she was but from the little I have heard, she was a very lovely and caring woman, can't wait to meet her in heaven one day.
I've had a ton of exams lately, as well as college interview :D Yup, I'm pretty happy about this, I'm starting to get this whole discipline thing worked out, see it's all about Jesus, when my eyes are on Him, everything else just falls into place, freakishly easy too, freakishly easy.
And dudes, there are times when I just feel like I've let myself down, and trust me, I do that quite often but then the Spirit reminds me that the same power that raised Jesus from the grave is living in me, working in me, breathing into me every single day of my life, isn't that just the craziest thing? Strange ways to save the world, eh?
Haha, but well, God is good, He's very good. Of late, I've had my eyes opened wider to His goodness and it is mind-blowing! I've attended a few times, this church called VPA, so annointed with a Pastor that just loves God and is so annointed and has an incredible desire to see God work in the lives of His people. And man, isn't that what I want? I want the entirety of the living God, all of Him, or I want nothing to do with religion.
And it's crazy because, "religion" as most of us know it has very little to do with intimacy with God, which sucks, I cannot begin to tell you how much that really sucks, honestly. Before I got saved, I didn't even KNOW that you could have this kind of closeness with God, isn't that weird? I had no clue, no idea, it didn't seem like a real possibility to me at the time.
But man was I floored when He came into my life...
Anyways, what do I want to say amidst all these utterly inconsistent ramblings?
God loves you, I mean, the whole no-holds-barred kinda love...

"You're saved when you believe in God but you're changed when you realise that He believes in you"
:DDDD Byeeeee

Dancing and juggling, good fun, good fun :D

Sooooo...

It has been a good long while since I last updated, again, for the millionth time, I am giving myself a mental beat-down.
But in all this, God has been oh so good, never letting go of my hand and taking me through the worst and being ever-so-present through the best. What am I doing right now? Watching some good ol' Disney channel. Oddly enough, I actually like some of the Disney stars, I'll be honest Disney isn't the first place to go to for authenticity but I have a soft spot for Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez, especially Selena. They're human okay? I think it's easy to forget that sometimes.
Anyhoozer, there is so much going on in my  life right now, exam preparation, coursework, headgirl duties, growing up and becoming a Proverbs 31 woman, not always feeling pretty enough, days when I feel gorgeous, learning to organise myself better, learning to put God first in everything, a whole ton of stuff that I'm juggling.
But it's all good fun and it's all in God's good will so yes, I find myself being on my knees more often, but time like that is good for moi.

Buh-bye now :D

Sweetness :)

So...

Haha okay, I have been neglecting to update this blog for some time now, I don't even know why really because, there's just no point in neglecting something that I know I so badly love to do.
So, the point I'm trying to make? I am a stupidhead, a big ol' one too.
Anyways, life is pretty sweet right now, though with a few setbacks, you can't do without those if you really want to fulfill your God-given destiny. I'd say I'm a pretty strong girl, the things I've gone through have made me so. My life, the way it is right now, eight years ago, this is definitely not what I would've expected and I think that it's a good thing. I know who's in charge, God, not me.
And I'm not without my insecurities either, these past couple of weeks have taught me that I have my fair share of those. And all of these things, just make me want to run into my Daddy's strong arms and stay there forever. It humbles me, makes me want to listen, makes me see myself for what I really am. I think I was getting to a place where I thought I was almost invincinble, like I had no insecurities, and that's never the truth is it? So I thank God for the hard stuff I've experienced in recent times.
The aftermath of the pain and the fire is actually pretty sweet, I'll be honest.
So the crap we're going through right now, God will make it worthwhile, He woud never, ever waste our pain.
Just thought I'd share this with you.

Buh-bye now :D

Let's do this..

So...

Let's do this consistency thingy, funnily enough, I actually believe that I'm starting to get a hang of this. All of those difficult words - consistency, discipline, control. Man, I've just not gotten the hang of it for most of my life.
But today...well, I actually feel like I can do it.
See, I'm at this stage where I'm at the verge of the rest of my life and I know that every decision I make will impact my life, either for the better or for the worse. And I also know that we are not a product of what we do, but we are a product of what we repeat. And truthfully, old habits die hard so if you've gotten into the habit of procrastination, you can feel my pain right now.
It's just, it really is the hardest thing to break away from because you get used to all these stupid mindsets and you can actually tell yourself, most of the time, that you have an excuse for your laziness and seriously, I'm tired of living that way.
But today was a good day, had my yearbook pictures taken today. I know that I'll look back on all this stuff one day and just laugh my head off. I love being young, I love making mistakes and not knowing stuff and discovering new things about myself, about Jesus every single day, I love the carelessness and carefreeness of it.
I got the most terrible headache though, thankfully when I got to my Maths lesson, I was actually able to pay attention for more than five minutes and do some much needed revision of circle theorems and it was good, productive.
And then there's the bestie - Katherine, I love that girl. Spending time with her just makes me remember this passage from the Bible and it just rings true, "A man of many companions may fall but there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother", and we've stood by each other through a lot and we have the best and craziest memories. We could literally laugh together forever and we know each other better than anyone else. I'm gonna miss that kid when we leave secondary school.
Anyways, I can feel myself maturing, almost to the point where it's scary and then I'm reminded of a saying I've heard before - "When I was a child, I reasoned as a child..." and it's always weird for me because sometimes I still can't believe I'm getting older, going off to college and everything, it's still weird because  a part of me is just screaming, "This is happening wayyy too soon" but it is happening and it's time to embrace it.
Let's do this :)

Buh-bye now :D

Blah blah blah...

So...

Having the most random day, and I'm really getting into Glee, one of the first new shows that I've really taken an interest in, in a looong time. I like TV, a lot, but I'm far more of a movie-with-friends-and-family person so I tend to only ever watch TV when there's good company. I can never seem to shut up, haha. Even when I was watching my favourite movie of the century, Avatar, me and my sister couldn't shut up in the cinema. We weren't too loud or anything, we just love a good chat and there were things that I know I wouldn't have laughed about if I wasn't there with her.
My pastor is quite a frank, straight-to-the-point kinda guy and on his office door, where everyone can see it says, "This year - control your mouth". In my life, control and mouth tend to kinda avoid it each other like the plague. This is bad. So very bad.
When I look back on my life, there is a lot of crap that I could have just avoided had I just taken the time to actually think about what I'm saying or just refrain from saying certain things at all.
And a couple of weeks ago, I experienced firsthand how words can really impact a life. Someone said something that sounded kinda small, it was less than ten words but it stayed with me for about three days, constantly haunting my mind, eating away at my confidence, slowly ebbing away at my insecurities and boy did it suck.
I don't want to be the kinda person that kills dreams and hearts with their words, if there is a single thing that I want to do in this life, it's to encourage and inspire, and make people happy. I want to love people through my words and I want people to see the love of God in me.
It's kinda odd that the same mouth that I use to bless the God of Heaven is sometimes the mouth that I use to curse or hurt someone, it's darn shameful I tell you. It makes no sense and you can serve only one master.
I plan to serve God.
Simple as that.

"Let my words be few"

Buh-bye now :)

Random thoughts, been a while since I had this kinda post..

Soo..

Okay, so I'm having a "random post" day kinda feeling..that, or I can't actually think of a suitable title for this one, or are my titles ever suitable? questionsss..
Anyhoozer, I hope everybody's okay and finding love and happiness and joy and fun and truth in Jesus, and just, learning to listen to this God that we serve..
I'm sitting here with my cup of tea and I've got some good ol' Bethany Dillon playin and I'm pretty content right now, see, I've got a lot of stuff that I need to be doing and a lot of stuff that I'm commited to at the moment - school, my music, loving people, this blog. There's just so much that I'm expecting of myself at this point in time and I just, I don't know how I'm gonna be able to do it all...but I'm leaning on God, that's what He's telling me to do.
Because, outside of Him, I really don't see how this thing called life is worth doing, if it's even possible to do, I'm just busy and I got home extra late from school today and my time just seems to be flying out the door.
Times like this really bring me to my knees and I just, I need God's grace and presence so much.
Anyways, today at school was fun, one of my favourite human beings in the world, a girl after my own heart Roma, was playing music at school today and well, it's beautiful to see what God does in people's lives even when we're mostly unconscious of it. She started playing guitar when she was eight and she's outstanding and she sings too, and I'm sure that when she first started playing, it seemed like nothing special but the truth is that, now, it's just incredible to see.
Another reason why I love her is because well, she loves my bestest friend in the entire universe - that man called Jesus.
Anyways, after school I saw one of my buddies from primary school that I haven't seen in forever and he was so growwwn! I couldn't even tell it was him, he's taller than me and everything. I don't think he recognised me but still, it was really good seeing him again and beneath all that height and puberty, it was nice to see little bits and pieces of the seven year old that I loved with all my heart.
But change, change is a good thing, especially when you know you're in God's will so don't run away from change, embrace it, arms wide open and everything.

Buh-bye now :D

More change? Lord, help me...

So...

Well, God is doing a wonderful little work in my heart today, I love times like this when I can see His will so clearly but then again, I'm not gonna lie when I say that His will, at times, frightens me a little. He's a very big God and I'm a very small human and sometimes, I depend on the physical a little too much, I forget to think beneath the surface and the things God has said just, they seem so big.
But there is this pretty little thing called surrender. And it's something that I'm learning to do more and more of everyday so we thank God for the grace that He so willingly lends to us.
I was watching this program today called "Life at the summit" and the most wonderful teacher of the Word was speaking about taking the time to evaluate the roles that the people in your life play. Now, this was a scary wonderful message for me to hear at this point in my life when so much change is taking place so rapidly. My world is constantly being altered all the time and God is just saying so much to me right now.
There are those who will add to your life, there are those who will take away from your life, there are those who will leave you as you are and there are those who will divide. And then he started saying that a best friend should be someone who brings out the best in you. I really searched in my heart to find out whether the people I call my best friends bring out the best in me, and this has got me thinking BIG TIME.
I need to be sure of the roles that people play in my life, I need to know which relationships to nurture and which ones to slowly tear myself out of. It's a very important thing and there are people that God has put in your life and at the same time, there are those that the devil has sent to derail you, to distract you from your goal in this world, to blur your vision and your focus.
So, I'm gonna start praying from now on that God teaches us to recognise these things in people and helps us to understand the roles that people play in our life better.
I'm not saying that God's will makes a lot of sense most of the time, but He is the hand that holds the world and He loves us, I'd say He's worth trusting.

Buh-bye now :)